Takeaways for life from my Ph.D. journey

How much does life really change after the Ph.D. defense?

I came across this question after my thesis defense, which is the ultimate checkbox to earning a Ph.D. degree.

In the beginning, it was my friends that would ask me questions such as “Hey Dr. Santana, how is life now?” and “How does it feel like to have a Ph.D.?” I would promptly say that it felt very good. Which was indeed the case.

After two weeks of giving the same answer, I began to wonder about what had really changed in my life after my Ph.D. defense. I was rather surprised by my own conclusions.

Big growth doesn’t happen overnight

As human beings, we tend to believe that life will be substantially different upon the completion of big events. However, real changes are much more likely to happen along the process—over weeks, months, if not years—rather than overnight. What can often change over a very short period of time is a belief, i.e., our perception of things. A moment of realization can, indeed, drive us to a completely different path.

What did actually change from the day of my defense to the next day? Not much, really! Not much more than another checkbox marked as “done” in my to-do list. Which was a surprising realization for me given the importance of the event. Nonetheless, for someone driven by accomplishments, like me, it felt absolutely great checking such an important to-do item. It was like sitting down to contemplate the view after a long walk to the peak of a mountain. Tremendously rewarding!

While contemplating the view from that privileged spot, I began to realize how much I had in fact accomplished and changed as a person—not overnight—over the last four and a half years. When I compare the Aster of 2014 with the one of 2019, that’s when I see an astonishing difference. Besides the fact that I became a father, and besides all the accomplishments and technical skills I’ve mastered along the way, I now feel much more mature, confident, and decisive. And less humble too, as you can see :)

You got to choose what you want

Even more important than all the accomplishments, I’m glad I got to enjoy the process. This was especially true over the last two years of the program, and even more during the last semester.

By coincidence or not, the times I enjoyed the most were also the times I was more productive and accomplished the most. What a happy combination! More interesting yet, is that I chose it to be like this! Let me tell you how it happened.

In a conversation during my second semester, a senior student told me that Ph.D. life was as follows: it would be very stressful in the beginning, then it would get slightly better towards the middle of the program, and then it would get crazy again towards the end.

Despite the fact that I had plenty of evidence around me, I could not admit that my Ph.D. life had to be like that. So, I told myself that things would be different for me. I deliberately chose not to buy that belief.

Two semesters later, I took one of the most importantly concrete steps towards that goal. I wrote down in my journal what I wanted the remaining years of my Ph.D. program to look like. When I look back, it surprises me to see that I’ve gotten pretty much all that I aimed for. With lots of bonuses! How was that possible?!

Empowering beliefs are indeed powerful

I strongly believe that the “magic” of empowering beliefs is mostly a matter of focus, clarity, and the incredible capabilities of the human brain.

Do you know when a friend tells you about a restaurant you have never noticed and now, every time you pass by, you see it?

Opportunities are all around us. But we tend to focus more on what seems to be a threat. For example, what would first come to your mind if someone invited you to give a talk? Do you see opportunities or do you see threats? If you don’t have a clear bigger picture of what you want, the threatening aspect of your brain will take over.

Here is my best advice for you. Next time you find yourself setting long-term goals, make sure to choose how you want the whole process to look. In other words, choose WHAT you want and HOW you want to get there. If you don't learn to enjoy the "how", you will likely not enjoy the "what" as much as you deserve.

The first step is very simple: just set your intentions. This is your friend telling you about the new restaurant. Next time you pass by, your brain will likely notice it, even if you have never seen that before.

Conclusion

Moments of celebration are great for self-discoveries. But if you keep on waiting for those moments to have joy in life, you might discover an effective formula for dissatisfaction—I know that dissatisfaction can lead to positive changes, but not as often as you may wish.